


Alarm Bells Ring

by StardustMacaron



Category: Magical Diary (Visual Novel)
Genre: Age Difference, All the messy relationship stuff that comes with being a CSA surivor with PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kyo is an Asshole, Minnie deserves Better, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 14:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 5,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16894332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StardustMacaron/pseuds/StardustMacaron
Summary: When you are five years old, you learn that you can never trust anyone.When you are sixteen, you meet someone who makes you reconsider.Second Person POV Magical Diary fic where the MC has... slightly different responses to canon due to being a PTSD ridden CSA survivor. Follows the game fairly closely. Intended as a vent fic that got a little out off hand.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was really just meant to be a Grabiner/MC vent fic but I fell in love with Minnie a lot while playing, so she's a fairly prominent character as well because she deserves the sun and moon and everything good in life and I would die for her.

When you are five years old, you realise you do not fit in with your peers.

You hold nothing against them, but you constantly seem out of step in their eyes.

You don’t mind too much. It gets lonely, but you become friends with your teachers instead.

When you are six, you decide that to be friends with teachers is a bad idea.

The students don’t bully you outright, they ignore and avoid you. That doesn’t bother you.

But it makes you easy prey.

A child with no friends, who spends her lunchtimes inside, alone…

A child who is already too trusting of the adults around her. She has no one else to trust, after all.

You do not trust anyone after that.

* * *

 

When you are ten, you realise your mother is ill.

You believe this is your fault. You are a difficult child. Intelligent, but stoic, you distrust authority, and it seems nobody ever likes you. Your parents are stressed, and you only ever make things worse.

When she dies, you do not cry. Your father tries to hold your hand, but you don’t take it.

When you are thirteen, you learn you were never going to be normal.

You are a witch. It sounds like a joke to you. You’re not sure what to think.

For a moment, you contemplate saying no. All you wanted was to be normal, this… is the furthest thing possible from normal.

When you look into your fathers’ tired eyes with grief still looming in his features, you wonder if it would be easier on him if you left.

In the end, you were always going to say yes.

* * *

 

When you are sixteen, your father leaves you at the foot of a hill leading up to Iris Academy.

He drives away before you have the chance to say goodbye.

You’re not sure you wanted to say anything anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

Professor Grabiner is grumpy and scowling, but despite yourself, you find him quite handsome.

The thought of it makes your stomach turn, you meekly apologise and scurry off.

You have made this mistake before, and you will not make it again.

Your roommates are friendly, Ellen seems a bit high strung, and Virginia seems a little too carefree.

They seem like they’ll be respectful of your privacy and won’t pry too deep.

For that, you are grateful.

* * *

 

Ellen tells you she always wanted to be a witch. It seems she has some bitterness about being too ordinary.

You try to be polite, but you don’t really understand her feelings.

Quietly, you wish you could feel the same.

* * *

 

Initiation frightens you. You feel a lump in your throat standing in the gymnasium.

It all sounds like hazing to you, an excuse to bully people.

An abuse of power, your mind helpfully suggests. Your feel yourself starting to panic.

You don’t want to stand out, to draw attention. If you say no, or kick up a fuss, it might make things worse. You might get bullied all year, instead of just for the week.

Your thoughts are jumbled and anxious, when a boy with blue flesh reaches out to you.

He looks demonic, but his words are gentle. Your anxiety must be written on your face.

You gladly take his hand when he offers it.

* * *

 

Your fears are realised when you see an older girl bullying Ellen outside your dorm.

You don’t know if you should interfere or not. She looks like she’ll happily take a new target if one presents themselves.

But you know what happens when no one speaks up.

Luckily, you don’t have to. Isobel, the dorm advisor, steps in to defend Ellen.

Relief washes over you when you realise then, even if some of the seniors use this as an excuse for bullying, there are plenty more who won’t tolerate that in the least.

You try to remember that when Damien asks you to write him… a love letter.

It’s only a joke, nothing serious, it’s just meant to make you feel a little flustered or exasperated.

Damien has been nice, he’s been gentle when he speaks, he never seems to ask for much.

You swallow your pride and write it that night, with some advice from Ellen.

Her handwriting is much prettier than yours.

* * *

 

Hearing Professor Grabiner reading out the stupid, overly sappy, utterly humiliating love letter you wrote as a joke in class is like being dunked in ice water.

He’s angry, and you don’t blame him. You take responsibility for the letter, and could swear for a moment, underneath his rage, there’s a tinge of pain.

You go to find Damien immediately, all you can think of is hitting him.

* * *

 

You aren’t sure you believe Damien when he says it was an accident.

You know how people treat those who are different, so you try to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Your personal issues aren’t an excuse to be rude, you remind yourself gently.

You wonder if you should find Professor Grabiner and explain it yourself though, just to be sure.

The flash of his angry features makes you reconsider.


	3. Chapter 3

Professor Grabiner comes to apologise to you in the morning.

Mostly, you just want to forget it ever happened.

When he explains his reaction, you can’t help yourself.

Students writing him love letters just to bully him...

“I’m sorry, that’s horrible,” you say quietly.

He looks at you carefully, and you hope he knows you’re being sincere.

He insists it doesn’t make you friends, he is simply being fair when he awards you extra merits as an apology for his behaviour.

It is precisely for that reason that you decide you like him.

* * *

 You do not like Professor Potsdam.

She is too friendly, too jovial. It makes you uncomfortable.

You have learned better than to trust authority that pretends to be a friend.

Virginia mentions how strange you are once, not being the least bit frightened of Professor Grabiner, but recoiling whenever Potsdam is near.

You decide it wouldn’t make sense to anyone else, so you shrug and hope she doesn’t ask.

* * *

 Damien ignores you after initiation.

People whisper about him breaking the heart of yet another freshman.

You decide you should trust your instincts next time.

Trying to play nice even when it feels wrong always gets you into trouble.

* * *

 

You reluctantly sign up for Virginia’s sports club. The strict “no magic” rule makes you feel a bit puzzled.

Why would a born witch be so insistent on not using magic?

You consider asking about it the following week, when you run into her older brother doing a control exercise on a plastic ball. You realise it’s probably best to ask Virginia herself.

Instead, “Can I ask you about Damien?”

You bristle a bit at the implication you were dating him. You knew him barely a week.

William implies Damien is a victim of bullying, and you realise William was likely one of them once.

You consider your hesitance to believe his story about the love letter, and instantly feel guilty.

He was telling the truth… Your gut instinct was wrong.

But it only makes you wonder why he doesn’t want anything to do with you now.

Sometimes you think life is easier when you keep to yourself, people (and demons) are far too complicated.


	4. Chapter 4

You flub the first exam. Professor Grabiner explains the dangers of using teleportation magic on yourself without sufficient expertise. The realisation that you could have done damage to yourself makes you flinch a bit.

He seems to take pity on you and points out that, at the very least, you did make a logical choice in which magic to use.

Technically, you passed.

* * *

 

When Virginia mentions student elections, you mostly ignore it.

It isn’t until you find out that it would be Professor Grabiner you’d be spending time with that you consider it.

You tell yourself it’s because he’s a good teacher, respectful and professional, and it would make Virginia happy.

* * *

 

You feel like a hypocrite when Ellen tells you she has feelings for William.

Telling her to have faith in herself, to go for it…

In the back of your mind, you’re aware you’re lying to yourself about Professor Grabiner.

It’s different, you think to yourself. You have plenty more reasons to bury your feelings for him than Ellen does for William.

Besides, you have experience with these things… You know what could go wrong.

Ellen is just scared she’ll be rejected, it’s completely different.

* * *

 

You don’t think much of it when a pie shows up at your door.

You presume it’s from Isobel, she’s always looking out for the underclassmen, it wouldn’t be at all strange if she bought a gift for them.

You make a mental note to thank her for it later.

* * *

 

Professor Grabiner shows up at your door in the morning.

You look horribly disheveled and pitifully squeak out a good morning.

He raises his eyebrows, but beyond that, simply hands you materials for the election.

You smile softly as he leaves and feel grateful that at least one of your teachers here is effortlessly professional, even in awkward situations like this.

* * *

 

“Would it be too much to hope that you have already made your decisions?”

You look up with a smile and shake your head.

Professor Grabiner sighs, but you’re looking forward to getting his help.

You don’t hesitate to tell William you’d rather work with Professor Grabiner.


	5. Chapter 5

Grabiner looks utterly perplexed by the choice but seems almost… proud when you explain you don’t want to win because of William’s popularity, but rather on your own merit.

You feel confident enough to make a joke and are rewarded with the sound of his subdued chuckling.

William awkwardly excuses himself, and you wonder if he can tell.

* * *

 

The campaign is successful, albeit tiring.

You don’t pay much attention to anything else during it, though the girl from Butterfly Hall running for president does catch your eye.

Minnie Cochran. You wonder if you’ll have to spend time with her for your duties.

When you see flowers at her door post-election, you can’t help but think that such an over the top gift would make you uncomfortable…

* * *

 

You learn that Virginia never wanted to be a witch.

For a moment, you sympathise, but her reasons are strange to you.

She doesn’t want to be a witch because… she wanted to be a famous athlete.

You can’t imagine wanting the limelight like that.

Nor can you imagine being so attached to your family that you’d give up such a dream to keep them.

You realise then that you haven’t received mail from your father, and you’d never even thought to write to him yourself.

* * *

 

Minnie knocks on your door on Friday morning.

She holds study sessions in the library, apparently.

You don’t think you’ll need them, but her wide eyes and earnest smile make you feel compelled to say yes.

You can’t explain it, but you’d really like to be friends with her.

She seems nice, you think. That’s all it is.

You consider asking her about the flowers but think better of it.

You don’t want to seem like you’re prying.

* * *

 

There is a ritual called the Dark Dance at the school.

You aren’t sure how to feel about being stuck in a dark room where you can’t even see yourself, surrounded by people, and noise, and supposedly some spirits too.

As class treasurer, you suppose it would look bad if you skipped it.


	6. Chapter 6

Damien makes you a bit uncomfortable. You can’t place exactly why, and you wonder if you’re just wary of him because he’s… well. He’s a demon, technically.

He asks to speak with you before the Dark Dance, and out of politeness you decide it’s for the best if you hear him out.

He apologises for his treatment of you, and you hesitantly agree to give him another chance.

It makes you feel uneasy when he tells you he sent the pie, but you smile and say it was thoughtful anyway.

You don’t want to upset him.

* * *

 

Professor Grabiner asks to see you after school one day, and it’s only later you realise the prospect of danger didn’t even cross your mind with him.

Of course, he only wanted to discuss an upcoming fundraiser with you.

As treasurer, it is part of your job…

It’s been a long time since you were comfortable being alone with a teacher like that, but Professor Grabiner has never been anything but professional.

You’re certain the thought of doing anything untoward would never even cross his mind.

* * *

 

Minnie comes to speak with you about the fundraiser later.

As usual, she’s chipper and earnest, wide eyes and smiles.

But then, she hesitates for a moment, and look of uncertainty crosses her features.

She asks you for advice about relationships. Hypothetically, of course, even as she’s asking you to cover shifts at the fundraiser because she promised her time to someone else.

You wonder if it has anything to do with the flowers at her door from before.

* * *

 

Damien asks you on a date.

He says it’s a friendly thing, and you don’t want to be rude, so you say yes.

There are always rumours about him being a womanizer, but you can’t really imagine he’d be putting this much effort into trying to date you.

You can’t possibly be worth that much attention for something so shallow.

You were used goods before you’d even turned twelve.

* * *

 

You don’t pay much attention to things happening around you.

Ellen asks you about the school play, Medea, and you realise you’d honestly forgotten the school even had a drama department.

You say yes, purely because it’ll be something to do.

Ellen asks you how you feel about revenge afterwards.

Truth be told, there are people you’d like to hurt for what they’ve done.

You don’t tell her that. Regardless of your personal demons, you have always tried to take the high road.

Being a better person than the people who hurt you is the only way you can sleep at night.


	7. Chapter 7

Minnie collects you in the morning for the fundraiser and apologises again for making you cover her shift. She looks uncomfortable, so you do your best to smile and reassure her that you don’t mind.

Maybe it’s those big wide eyes of hers, but you don’t think you could ever bring yourself to say something harsh to her. She could probably ask you to take a bullet and you’d say yes.

Of course, you’d only say yes because you know she’d never ask.

* * *

 

The fundraiser is largely boring. You spend most of the day milling around the mall.

You try your luck at getting a cute pink rabbit from one of the arcade machines and are surprised when it works. You wonder what you’ll do with it now…

In the evening, when you go to cover your next shift, Professor Grabiner arrives to supervise.

He looks directly at the plush rabbit in your arms and you feel a tinge embarrassed. He doesn’t say anything about it though, and simply sits down to read, requesting that you not bother him unless it’s an emergency.

You nod quietly. You won’t admit that you feel a little better with him nearby.

* * *

 

The night drags on, and you feel your legs becoming tired and sore.

You look over to Professor Grabiner, but he continues to read quietly.

You decide to stick it out, he’ll tell you when you can leave, surely.

But as the mall empties, shops are shutting down around you, and you find yourself still standing at the stall.

A fear of messing up, wanting to make a good impression for him, prevents you from saying anything, until…

“What time is it?” he asks, looking up from his book.

You start to say you don’t know, but your legs buckle, and you fall forward abruptly.

The reaction is instant, Professor Grabiner races from his seat to catch you. Your mind is screaming at you to get away from him, he’s touching you, he’s too close. You feel far too faint to steady yourself properly, so you try to silence your panic and calm down instead.

Suddenly, he’s yelling. You feel guilty.

“Idiot girl!”

The words hurt more than they should.

He’s too close, he’s yelling, insulting you, you feel the need to get away from him becoming too strong. You push yourself back and stumble away from him.

Quietly, he looks over you, and it seems he can tell there’s more to this than simply being tired.

With a deep sigh, he asks you to come with him.

Against every alarm bell in your head, you nod dutifully and follow.

* * *

 

He takes you to the same café that Damien did a few weeks ago, but it feels different this time.

You sit down across from at a table, and he orders you a chai coffee without looking at you.

The drink is warm and soothing. You feel your heart rate beginning to slow and dare to look up at him for a moment.

His eyes look pensive, but he sits quietly and does not bother you.

Damien had decided to give you his life story, putting you on the spot and making you feel guilty and pressured.

You feel oddly content with the quiet, Grabiner is a man of few words, and you are eternally grateful for that. He never asks questions that pry, never tries to tell you more than you’d like to know.

Compared to Professor Potsdam, who seems intent in being as involved in her students’ personal lives as possible, being with Grabiner is relaxing.

You drink the coffee in comfortable silence, occasionally hugging the plush rabbit you’ve obtained a little closer to yourself. You realise you’ll probably think of Grabiner every time you look at it now.


	8. Chapter 8

You spend thanksgiving break at school, mostly sitting the library and reading.

You find the book that Grabiner was reading at the fundraiser and skim through it.

It doesn’t belong to the school library, it’s on loan from somewhere else… but it has yet to be returned due to the break.

Grabiner walks into the library one day and catches your eye, he looks down at the book you’re reading and raises an eyebrow.

You flush a little and bury your face in the book.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost swear he’d looked amused.

* * *

 

As students arrive back at school, Virginia asks about your holidays. She seems to expect that you’d gone home, and you realise that despite everything, you really don’t talk much to your roommates at all.

With a sigh, you decide it’s probably best to explain things to them, just for the sake of clarification.

“I didn’t go home over the break. My father has a lot to worry about without me there,” you say.

You don’t mention that you haven’t heard from the man since you arrived.

They don’t need to know everything about your life all at once.

Virginia says it’s probably for the best, a lot of kids stop going home after a while too, it becomes too much trouble to keep all the “magic stuff” a secret.

“It’s better than the alternative, anyway. Some kids go home and never come back,” she explains.

Ellen looks a bit frightened at that.

* * *

 

There’s an exam straight after break.

It’s easy enough, and you pass without too much trouble.

Ellen, however, does not. She’s muttering to herself when you return to your room.

Apparently, passing the exam without using magic doesn’t count as passing.

On one hand, it is a magic exam, so it makes sense… but on the other hand, it seems unfair that she failed for using her reasoning skills to minimise wasting her magical energy.

When she storms out to yell at Professor Grabiner, you start to wish you’d kept your mouth shut.

* * *

 

A few days later, Professor Potsdam comes to give you something.

A bra. No… your bra.

You feel your blood running cold as she tells you it had turned up in the cafeteria and some of the male students were… playing with it.

You seal the bag shut, and vow to burn it.

You feel tainted and vulnerable and like crying.

Nobody knew it was yours, Professor Potsdam insists.

You don’t care. You feel violated.

If you ever find out who was responsible, you’ll burn them too.


	9. Chapter 9

Damien comes by on Sunday to ask if you’d like to play something called Flowerstones.

Apparently, it’s a wizard game. You eye him suspiciously, wondering if he had anything to do with this weeks earlier incident.

You’d say yes, if only to get more information from him, but you’ve already promised to go to Virginia’s no-magic sports club.

You promise to come find him on Friday and he can teach you how to play then.

You smile as kindly as you can manage, but between the pie and the uncomfortable date and the… bra… you wonder if Damien has some issues with respecting boundaries.

But maybe you’re just looking for an excuse not to trust the only boy that’s ever seemed to have a crush on you.

You decide playing it safe is for the best anyway.

* * *

 

The rules of flowerstones go over your head, but you decide it was worth it when Damien asks if “things have been alright” out of the blue.

You feel suspicious, so you vaguely mention a recent incident.

Damien compares it to the letter you wrote him turning up with Grabiner.

You understand what he’s suggesting, but the way he brought up the topic so abruptly makes you wonder if he knows more than he’s letting on.

You really don’t trust him.

Then again, when do you ever trust anyone?

No wonder you have barely any friends.

* * *

 

Early on Saturday, as you carry out your duties as treasurer, Grabiner shows up in the accounting room.

You pray it’s not because he heard what happened… Professor Potsdam wouldn’t have said anything to him, would she? It does seem like they’re often the only two teachers who ever do anything, but still.

Thankfully, he’s only informing you of a snowstorm.

You spend the afternoon in the library, and wonder if you should tell Grabiner yourself that you might be on the receiving end of a bully…

He seems reluctant to involve himself in the personal issues of students, and Professor Potsdam is already aware of what happened, so you decide it wouldn’t be worth the trouble.

* * *

 

The day before Christmas break officially starts, Professor Potsdam holds an assembly.

She uses some kind of spell and instructs you to think about someone you care for, someone who matters to you. Supposedly, you’ll feel it if they think of you as well.

You think of Grabiner, he’s the first person who comes into your head. You don’t expect much from him, but you respect him immensely, and you feel comfortable and safe when he’s around.

It makes sense for you to think of him.

What doesn’t make sense… is that you could almost swear he thought of you too.

You stomach twists uncomfortably. He wouldn’t have been… you’re his student. He has boundaries, he’s not like… he wouldn’t do that.

It’s only brief, so you push the thought out of your mind.

Grabiner wouldn’t betray your trust like that.

You’d never be able to forgive him if he did.


	10. Chapter 10

You write to your father over the Christmas break.

The school is mostly empty, you have your room to yourself. Everything is quiet.

Your mother had loved Christmas, and if nothing else, you hope your father misses you… at least a little bit.

The card you send is hand-made, and you hope the effort isn’t wasted.

You spend the rest of the break in the library or your room, quietly studying and reading.

You cross paths with Grabiner once or twice, but you avert your eyes and pretend not to have seen him.

* * *

 

Virginia brings back so much candy after Christmas that you wonder how she’s not in a sugar coma half the time.

She smiles and laughs and insists on sharing it with you and Ellen, so it’s hard to complain.

In the next few days, Damien finds you in the hallways, and gives you a gift.

It’s handmade, sculpted out of stone using magic. You’re reluctant to accept it, it feels like a courtship gift, something romantic.

You don’t want to be rude, so once again, you thank him and smile.

One day, you think to yourself, you’re going to have to tell him no.

The thought scares you. You’ve never been good at that.

* * *

 

You study with Minnie on Staurday as usual, but you notice that she is anxious and fidgety.

You try to ask what’s wrong, but she shakes her head and smiles, saying it’s nothing.

You recognise that smile, and you know she’s lying.

* * *

 

During sports club with Virginia, you notice Kyo, who is usually fairly energetic, looking quite annoyed.

He seems to be sulking about something.

He isn’t your friend, you’ve barely spoken to him before.

You choose not to ask.

* * *

 

You spend some time in the gym on Monday, and notice Kyo, still sulking over something.

He kicks a stray ball angrily and it hits you. He doesn’t seem to notice at all.

With a sign, you walk over and decide to ask what’s wrong.

He looks startled but puts on a strained smile and says it’s nothing.

You can’t help but think that sounds awfully familiar.

He starts complaining about girl troubles, and you immediately wish you’d left it alone.

He says woman are awful, you give them everything and they give you nothing in return.

You scowl a little. You don’t really want to listen to this, but he continues regardless.

“What does she want from me, blood?”

The sudden morbidity takes you by surprise. You suggest he’s being a bit dramatic, earning yourself a glare.

“Doesn’t she know how much I need her?”

For a moment, you feel kind of sorry for his girlfriend, whoever she is.

* * *

 

You’re beginning to feel sick of romantic tangles when you accidentally overhear Damien talking to a pink haired fairy girl. Pastel, you think her name is. Her parents clearly had a sense of humour…

Damien turns down her flirting, suggesting he has someone else in mind.

You narrow your eyes, and hope he’s talking about someone else.

Pastel persists with her flirting, and you feel tempted to step in to help Damien extract himself from the situation.

He says something about her mother and walks away.

You probably didn’t want to hear it anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

Damien catches you in the hallways later that week. He’s blushing and nervous and a sense of dread creeps into your mind.

“I’ve been waiting for a chance to talk you,” he says.

You want to tell him you’re busy, but you’re not. Everyone knows you spend every day in the library with Minnie, and that was exactly where you’d intended to go. He’d know you were brushing him off.

He asks to go somewhere more private and pulls you into an empty classroom.

Your heart is racing, and it’s not from excitement.

His words would likely sound romantic or sappy to someone more sentimental, but to you they sound like bile rising in your throat.

“I can’t take it anymore,” he says desperately.

Instinctively, you take a step back from him, your head is screaming to run.

“I want you,” he declares.

You’re going to be sick. You know you must handle this carefully… if you don’t...

“I want to hold your hand and touch your lips, and…”

You only barely restrain yourself from screaming at him to stop.

Gently, you try to tell him you don’t feel the same.

Still, he persists. He’s inched in closer to you and you feel suffocated.

You say no, you only like him as a friend. His eyes narrow.

He begins on a tirade about you leading him on, manipulating him, and it makes you want to scream.

You never asked for his attention, you were only trying to be polite.

He offered up his entire tragic backstory without even asking, you just wanted to be his friend.

“You just want to see everyone grovel at your feet!” he yells.

The sudden raising of his voice scares you.

What scares you worse is when he raises his hand. Your heart stops for a moment.

“You’re not innocent. You had nothing to give.”

The words cut through you like knives. He drops his hand, but you feel like hitting him yourself.

“You’re not innocent.”

The words ring in your head and panic overtakes you. Your breathing becomes staggered.

Damien walks out of the room, leaving you alone.

You feel yourself shaking, sweating, too hot and too cold all at once. Collapsing in a heap on the floor, you can think of nothing but trying to calm yourself.

Breathe in, breathe out. Over and over.

You feel like you’re in a nightmare.

* * *

 

You barely sleep that night, and come morning, you pull yourself out of bed and head to the accounting room to sort the mail and allowances as usual.

If nothing else, you hope it will prevent you from thinking about Damien again.

You notice a strange light shining from the room and wonder if maybe Grabiner is inside.

You wonder if he would sympathise with you right now…

It turns out not to matter. The scene that greets you is far more horrifying than anything Damien could say.


	12. Chapter 12

You make a split-second choice, rushing into the room despite the horrifying demon hovering above Grabiner’s unconscious body.

You can’t bring yourself to care about anything else that’s happened recently, you trust Grabiner, and are almost certain he would throw himself in danger to protect a student too.

The demon states its intent to eat Grabiner, calling him meat. Your blood boils and you rush to Grabiner’s side, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him gently.

“Professor Grabiner, please, wake up,” you plead. The slight movement tells you he’s still alive, he groans and his eyes flutter beneath his eyelids.

Before you can feel a sense of relief, you find yourself in sharp, stinging pain. As though someone is driving knives through your neck.

The room begins to spin and pulse. You can faintly taste your own blood and realise you might well die today.

The monstrous creature laughs at you as you struggle. It beings speaking but you can barely hear a word, the noises are muffled, and the world is beginning to go dark.

You hear someone scream. A woman, perhaps? There is more shouting… You think you hear a man. Grabiner? You can’t concentrate or think. Vaguely, you can see someone snarling at you, the word idiot reaches your ears.

You smile softly, despite the pain. Grabiner is safe.

The pain suddenly stops, and the creature vanishes. You find yourself in a crumpled heap on the floor, looking up into the eyes of Grabiner. It looks as though he’d like to kill you himself.

You feel faint still, but you’re awake enough now to catch Professor Potsdam using Grabiner’s first name.

“Who names their child Heironymous?” is the last thing you can think before you pass out.

* * *

 

You come to in an empty classroom with Professor Potsdam.

She explains the situation and the blood leaves your face in an instant.

That monster… is a servant to Grabiner’s family… You begin to understand what just transpired.

Grabiner was never in danger. He must think you a complete waste right now.

“You’ll have to marry him,” Potsdam says with astounding nonchalance.

You flinch. She may have told the monster you were part of his family, but is this really required?

Potsdam explains that a wizard’s word is binding. Both you and Heironymous would lose your magic if you did not go through with it, and the monster would likely come back to feast on you anyway.

Surely, he could adopt you instead. It’s not like you have much of a father to begin with.

Potsdam shakes her head. The words said were that you were to be his wife, nothing else would satisfy that.

At once, you feel anger rushing through you.

“Then why did you say that, of all things?” you scream at her.

Potsdam smiles, as though the whole thing is a joke. She calls it romantic, being married to save your soul. You feel sick.

The only reassurance in your mind is that there’s no way Grabiner will see this romantically.

He’ll go through with it to prevent you from being murdered, that’s all.

Grabiner would never…

Your mind flits back to the spell before Christmas. He’d thought of you.

What if he sees this as an excuse… to act on it…

You stand up sharply and run to a trash can, needing to throw up.

He wouldn’t. He’s not that kind of man. It won’t happen again.

You hope, more than anything in the world, that for once you’ll be right.


	13. Chapter 13

The dress you’re made to wear is white. You consider telling them it’s inappropriate.

White dresses are for virgins, after all.

You don’t want to deal with the complications of that today, there’s enough going on already.

You feel vindicated in your dislike of Potsdam. She’s far too cheery about this, like she’s enjoying it. You kind of want to slap her, but you know it wouldn’t help.

The wedding is held in the school dungeons. How fitting, you think.

The witness called is Minnie, something you’re almost thankful for. Minnie is nice, trustworthy, and she’ll almost certainly sympathise with you right now.

Grabiner looks lovely in his crimson wedding robes, you just wish you could appreciate the image properly under different circumstances. His scowl remains unchanged.

“I give you my kindness and my courage,” you say obediently.

“I give you my wisdom and my protection,” he responds in turn.

To yourself, you think that he has already given you that.

“You may now kiss the bride,” Potsdam says, smiling once more.

You panic once again and look fearfully into Grabiner’s eyes. He wouldn’t.

“Is that strictly necessary?” he asks with a growl.

You breathe deeply and relax. Of course, Grabiner is nothing like that man.

* * *

 

You are taken out for dinner by Minnie and Potsdam. It is the same place Damien took you, and the same place Grabiner did too.

You think back to that night. Drinking coffee quietly with Grabiner, it was comforting.

You know it’s unlikely the you’ll ever share such a calming moment with him again.

Minnie asks if you’re alright. You think of telling her about your childhood then.

About the teacher who hurt you, about the nightmares that still plague you, about the feelings you can’t forget.

You hesitate. Instead, you tell her you wanted Grabiner to respect you, the way you respected him.

You tell her how much it hurts that he must think horribly of you now.

Minnie is gentle with her words. Speaking with her almost makes you feel better.

Almost.

* * *

 

That night, you hold the pink rabbit you won during the fundraiser. It’s beady button eyes mock you.

You cuddle it closely to yourself and close your eyes.

You kiss its forehead and whisper a wish for it to bring you good dreams, away from this waking nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this fic in a single sitting several months ago, and this is as far as I'd gotten.
> 
> I keep forgetting that I need to keep playing to finish it, since I write each entry roughly as it occurs during the play through, for the sake of consistency. I'm sure I'll get back to it eventually.


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